Friday, September 9, 2011

Everyone's an expert

I enjoyed reading the link on Amy Figler Goings' FB wall entitled "What teachers really want to tell parents" (CNN.com). It did a nice job of detailing the frustration teachers face when confronted by parents who are forever rushing in to save their kids. It reminded me yet again how I got out of the profession just in time.

If I reacted to parents the way I used to I wouldn't last very long. At parent/teacher conferences I delighted in asking disgruntled parents where they got their degree in education. I remember one father was furious with me for requiring that my students leave me a personal voice mail if they were going to be absent just like I had to call in if I was going to be absent. The parent railed and railed, called me unreasonable, and finally asked me what would happen if all teachers required their students to leave a similar message. "Then I would be a damn fool not to," I shot back in an echo of Yossarian's refusal to fly more bombing missions. I finally said, "Look, we can go back and forth like this all night, but nothing will make me change my mind." He called me an asshole and stormed off to talk to the principal. Nothing came of it, I am happy to report. Nowadays I suspect I would be put on administrative leave pending an investigation for such a transgression. The Denver Post would probably pick up the story and I would serve as yet another example of evil teachers undermining the self-esteem of young people.

Toward the end of my career I was always being called on the carpet for my tactics. Of course that was during the reign of Dr. Treichler who always supported parents for fear that we would be sued. Roger Sykes, our post Treichler principal, was even worse. I remember one student whose parents decided before class even met that I was too harsh and demanding for their kid and asked to have her transferred to John Brovsky's CCB class immediately. Sykes, Brovsky, and I had a meeting where Sykes decided to make the transfer because he didn't want to deal with the parent who happened to be a biggie in the soccer community. I was outraged (outrage was my default mode back in those days) and said why don't we carry your thinking to its logical conclusion and just transfer all of my students right now? Sykes did not appreciate the truth in that comment and looked at me like I had lost my mind. Looking back, I have to admit that I was close to losing my mind on any number of occasions. Oh well.

But the thing is that everybody has become an expert lately. After presidential speeches, networks offer viewers a chance to ring in on their approval or disapproval of certain statements. Sports shows encourage viewers to second guess certain trades, or play calls, or cheerleaders' outfits, or uniform styles, you name it, and they broadcast the results of those instant polls as if they had some relevance. Call me insecure, but I think that the opinions of coaches and managers trump knee jerk reactions from suburban mancaves.

Don't get me wrong. I think Jim Tracy should play Seth Smith every day and I suspect that all those who think that Tim Tebow should start are wrong, but I don't get angry when Tracy ignores my advice. And if Tebow ends up starting instead of Orton, my life will go on. I will not call up some talk radio station where tired old jocks with pot bellies yell at and interrupt eachother and add to the fray.

This perceived right to have groundless opinions happens in other venues as well. The cool blue mustang with the red eyes at DIA is a source of constant controversy. It makes me smile every time I drive by it, but other people think it is a (GASP) devil horse and should be torn down. That's fine; they certainly have a right to their opinion. But many of them actually get angry about it and fire off letters to the editor and shun DIA whenever possible to use the airport in Colorado Springs instead. They not only believe they have the right to their opinions, but that the rest of us should bend to their will.

I love the new addition to the art museum. The view up the staircase in the atrium gives me the shivers and the museum's collection is glorified by the whole thing. It makes me proud to live in Denver. Other people are outraged by the place. It has too many weird nooks and crannies. What's up with the way the whole place sticks out like a sore thumb? To hear these people loudly opine on paper and on the airwaves one would think they won't be satisfied until we tear down the whole thing and consult them on a new design which they will have a right to veto. I love to have strong opinions and I love to argue with people who have equally strong opinions, but ultimately I realize that my opinion just doesn't matter. What do I know from architecture?

I love the book Heat by Bill Buford. Buford, a food writer for The New Times, takes a job in Mario Batali's kitchen at Babbo to see what it is like to be on the line of a great restaurant under the thumb of a great and demanding chef. It's damn hard, he concludes. But in the process he travels to Italy to see the origins of the industry up close and in his trip he meets the world's most famous and presumably best butcher, an iconoclastic sort with a temperament something like the soup nazi on Seinfeld. The great thing about the butcher and the reason I am sticking this digression into the middle of this rant, is that the butcher refuses to cater to his customers. Not only does he disagree with the idea that the customer is always right, he asserts that the customer is almost always wrong. When an unwary customer walks into his shop an asks for a particular piece of beef that is in fact out of season, the butcher will refuse to fill the order and tells the poor slob to get out of his store.

This happens all the time. Grocers will stock tomatoes in February because their customers are clueless enough to want them at that time even though they have no taste. Or people will sit down at a great restaurant and order a steak well done and expect the chef to prepare it that way. Or they will walk into a restaurant and ask for a salt shaker or, even worse, a bottle of catsup. A restaurateur with integrity should chase people like that out of his joint with a meat cleaver.

We are not experts at everything. Sometimes our opinions are just plain stupid. I think we should put ourselves into the hands of the real experts and maybe we might learn something. Of course, that is just my opinion.

9 comments:

Amy said...

*smiles*

John rove said...

Nice post. I would argue that some uninformed opinions are better than others, for example sports talk is just funny and entertaining, because it really doesn't matter. In fact I hope the broncos play tim tebow because he gives them the best chance at Andrew Luck next year.

As for salt in nice restaurants some of us just have a sodium deficiency.

Merrilee said...

I'm no expert ;) but I loved reading this post! The main reason I chose to become a board member in my childrens' school district was to have the ability to back our (forever underpaid and under-appreciated) teachers whenever possible. I have to admit however that the beaurocratic red tape and crippling fear of our litigious society made it darn near impossible to do what I felt was "the right thing" in a lot of situations. I don't know how big of a difference I made (sometimes, I was the lone "no" vote.) It really is a sad situation. Meanwhile I'll def be checking my "helicopter mom" behavior... As "protective parents" how quickly we forget!

Nicholas Condon said...

The first time I saw the Devil Horse at DIA was in the evening when it was dark enough to appreciate the eyes. I could hardly believe it; how the hell did something so aggressive and idiosyncratic make it through a public art selection process? Did the parties responsible think it would be a simple and uncontroversial Bronco-blue mustang rather than a horrifying demon murder horse?

I couldn't be happier about it, though. In my (unqualified and non-expert) opinion, public spaces could use more horrifying demon murder horses and fewer bland abstracts.

I wish there was a good spot nearby it to set up a tripod and take pictures of it. I'd love to take a good photo of one of those eyes, perhaps with a flaring nostril in the foreground, even if having the print on my wall would give me nightmares. (Err.. "Night-stallions?" That just sounds inappropriate...)

Jill said...

As your former student, I am more than glad that you had enough respect for me to treat me as an able and thinking human which, at times, seemed harsh. What a gift from a teacher to be given the opportunity to act like an adult and pity for those students who do not have teachers that give them that respect. Huge pity for those parents who deprive their children of that respect too. As a humbled adult now, I understand how to repect other people's opinions enough that they are allowed to do their jobs, a respect I often do not receive from others as a flight attendant. All said, thank you Mr. and Mrs. Starkey for your harshness, respect, and confidence in my abilities.

Corey A. Lynn said...

I just bragged about you and Mrs. S. to my fiance, Matty. I read him a lot of your blog with such pride and admiration. You guys are the greatest, and you couldn't be more right about learning something by putting ourselves in the hands of the experts; I'm so fortunate to STILL be learning from the two of you, through blogs and FB!

jstarkey said...

I'm taken aback by all of your terrific comments. Thank you. I was just trying to have a little fun.

Maggie said...

I graduated in 2000 and had you and Mrs. Starkey. I have to say, more the shame for all those students who lost out on learning from you two because you were "difficult." I've had sixteen years of formal education and can say, without hesitation, that I learned more from you than any other teacher I've had, ever. People lose out all the time because they think every should cater to their (often uninformed) opinions. It's too damn bad.

Karin B (Looking for Ballast) said...

Look at all the comments!! Yay!! Wheee! Finally, there are people leaving words here. I go away for a while and look what happens. Um. Hope there is no correlation, haha (I just backspaced over the "lol" that was there five seconds ago. I remember your opinion on those, haha. I'm leaving all the smiley faces in here because I really like them, however.) :)

So, upon reading this, I thought of the quote I heard somewhere at some point in time: "Opinions are like a**holes. Everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks." Although I probably don't need the as(s)terisks, do I. You have used the "F" word here before, and so it is probably cool to put the "ass" there, huh. I was trying to be polite, though.

So Google reports to me that this is in fact a quote from the Dirty Harry movie "The Dead Pool" and also from "Home for the Holidays" with Holly Hunter. I don't recall seeing either of them. So who knows where I got it from. I just know that I laughed knowingly when I heard it for the first time. It's pretty much a truism, huh.

In any case, just like everyone is entitled to have his or her own rectal outlet, I think opinions are the same. If they're backed up, all the better -- I might be swayed. For me, with anyone I respect and love, I am going to listen to his or her opinion, probably with high regard. I will also give those I do not respect and love their say because I also think that is an act of love, just like wiping the poo off my babies' rears when they were small, and probably like someone -- a nurse's aide? -- will when I am old. I think it is another way of shining my shoes for the fat lady. :) It does not mean that I am going to agree, but I will at least listen. A person deserves at least that much, even the insane or incapacitated. Although, in those cases, I may not listen for very long before trying to extricate myself out of the situation. Not an easy one.

Now, *agreeing* with another's opinion is an entirely different matter, and you have brought up some good examples of how this can be difficult when egos and agendas come into play. That's politics, and I don't have much of a stomach for all of that...

One thing is true: I always like to hear what you have to say; see: respect and love part up there.

Love,
Karin