Monday, November 17, 2014
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Pete the Cat.
Is He American?
There are lots of issues to talk about on this Sunday morning. There's the mid-terms. There's the newest challenge to Obamacare. There's the situation in the Middle East. There's the economy. But I don't want to talk about any of that.
I want to talk about Pete the Cat. Pete the Cat is the main character in two books my granddaughter Willa insists on hearing before taking a nap. That's a good thing because they are both short. It is also a good thing because I love their messages. The first book, "Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons" (James Dean and Eric Litwin, Harper), tells the story of Pete and his favorite shirt with the four groovy buttons. Pete loves his shirt so much that whenever he wears it he sings, "My buttons, my buttons, my four groovy buttons." But his buttons don't last. After he does his first chorus, one of the buttons pops off, leaving him with three, but does Pete get mad? Goodness no! He just goes on singing "My buttons, my buttons, my three groovy buttons." Of course, the next button pops off, then the next, and the next, leaving our hapless hero with zero buttons. Does Pete get mad? Goodness no! He looks down at his buttonless shirt and his exposed stomach and what does he see? His belly button. He sings, "My button, my button, still have my belly button." Mercifully, the book ends there with the closing statement: "I guess it simply goes to show that stuff will come and stuff will go, but do we cry? Goodness, NO! We keep on singing, because buttons come and buttons go."
The second book, "Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes", is even more controversial. It seems Pete has a brand new set of white shoes that compel him to sing, "I love my white shoes. I love my white shoes, I love my white shoes." But Pete, who obviously has attention span issues, steps into a huge mound of strawberries, turning his once white shoes red. Does that make him sad? You can guess the answer. "I love my red shoes. I love my red shoes. I love my red shoes." From there he steps into some blueberries and then a puddle of mud. Except for the color of the shoes, his song never changes. Finally, he steps into some water and everything gets washed away, leaving him once again with white shoes. BUT he discovers they are wet. You guessed it. "I love my wet shoes. I love my wet shoes. I love my wet shoes." Sometimes when reading these books to Willa, I feel an urge to slap Pete around a little, but Willa loves singing the songs. It's the concluding moral that provides the controversy: "The moral of Pete's story is no matter what you step in keep walking along and singing your song, because it's all good."
I love the books. I love the message that "it's all good."' We first heard it read aloud at Columbine Public Library during a packed toddler class on a Thursday morning and we immediately went out and bought all the Pete the Cat books we could find (two). Is there any doubt, however, that there were some conservative parents and grandparents in the room who, if they had been paying attention, would have been offended, even outraged, at Pete's collectivist message? If one of those conservative parents gave Rush Limbaugh a call to fill him in on the latest liberal/socialist/communist program of indoctrination at public libraries, isn't it clear that Rush would devote the rest of his program, the rest of his week, to exposing the scandal. It would give conservatives more reason to cut funding to liberal programs like libraries and the arts. Julie Williams and the other conservatives on Jeffco's school board would call for an investigation into school libraries in order to expunge all the leftist texts that were surely imbedded there.
I looked around the Columbine library and found all kinds of books that would surely not pass Tea Party muster. "The Lorax", "The Butter Battle Book", and the worst one of all, "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish." Funny things are everywhere indeed! All these subversive texts suggest to impressionable youngsters that we are all basically good, that we should be trusting, that we should accept everyone.
I heard a Rush Limbaugh show once while stuck in rush hour traffic. A disgruntled caller was outraged at the latest art thingy his kid brought home from school. It seems that the kid's subversive teacher (Is there any other kind?) instructed her class to imagine what a giraffe's head on a turtle's body would look like (or something along those lines) and make a drawing of it. The kid showed his dad the surreal drawing and the father presumably ran to the phone to express his two grievances to Rush. First, the lesson was suggesting that one could improve on God's (intelligent) design. Second, what was the teacher doing wasting time on such pointless activities when there were multiplication tables and grammar rules to memorize? Rush, of course, was even more outraged and the rest of the hour was devoted to a succession of calls from people who were actually angry at turtles with the heads of giraffes.
You know all those problems I listed in the first paragraph? They all seem kind of urgent to me. They all need to be addressed by a national discussion. Do you think it is possible to have a discussion when even Pete the Cat or surreal turtles piss us off?
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the republic for which it stands
One nation
Under God
Indivisible
With liberty and justice for all.
Right! Just make sure you keep your buttons and avoid huge piles of strawberries.
There are lots of issues to talk about on this Sunday morning. There's the mid-terms. There's the newest challenge to Obamacare. There's the situation in the Middle East. There's the economy. But I don't want to talk about any of that.
I want to talk about Pete the Cat. Pete the Cat is the main character in two books my granddaughter Willa insists on hearing before taking a nap. That's a good thing because they are both short. It is also a good thing because I love their messages. The first book, "Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons" (James Dean and Eric Litwin, Harper), tells the story of Pete and his favorite shirt with the four groovy buttons. Pete loves his shirt so much that whenever he wears it he sings, "My buttons, my buttons, my four groovy buttons." But his buttons don't last. After he does his first chorus, one of the buttons pops off, leaving him with three, but does Pete get mad? Goodness no! He just goes on singing "My buttons, my buttons, my three groovy buttons." Of course, the next button pops off, then the next, and the next, leaving our hapless hero with zero buttons. Does Pete get mad? Goodness no! He looks down at his buttonless shirt and his exposed stomach and what does he see? His belly button. He sings, "My button, my button, still have my belly button." Mercifully, the book ends there with the closing statement: "I guess it simply goes to show that stuff will come and stuff will go, but do we cry? Goodness, NO! We keep on singing, because buttons come and buttons go."
The second book, "Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes", is even more controversial. It seems Pete has a brand new set of white shoes that compel him to sing, "I love my white shoes. I love my white shoes, I love my white shoes." But Pete, who obviously has attention span issues, steps into a huge mound of strawberries, turning his once white shoes red. Does that make him sad? You can guess the answer. "I love my red shoes. I love my red shoes. I love my red shoes." From there he steps into some blueberries and then a puddle of mud. Except for the color of the shoes, his song never changes. Finally, he steps into some water and everything gets washed away, leaving him once again with white shoes. BUT he discovers they are wet. You guessed it. "I love my wet shoes. I love my wet shoes. I love my wet shoes." Sometimes when reading these books to Willa, I feel an urge to slap Pete around a little, but Willa loves singing the songs. It's the concluding moral that provides the controversy: "The moral of Pete's story is no matter what you step in keep walking along and singing your song, because it's all good."
I love the books. I love the message that "it's all good."' We first heard it read aloud at Columbine Public Library during a packed toddler class on a Thursday morning and we immediately went out and bought all the Pete the Cat books we could find (two). Is there any doubt, however, that there were some conservative parents and grandparents in the room who, if they had been paying attention, would have been offended, even outraged, at Pete's collectivist message? If one of those conservative parents gave Rush Limbaugh a call to fill him in on the latest liberal/socialist/communist program of indoctrination at public libraries, isn't it clear that Rush would devote the rest of his program, the rest of his week, to exposing the scandal. It would give conservatives more reason to cut funding to liberal programs like libraries and the arts. Julie Williams and the other conservatives on Jeffco's school board would call for an investigation into school libraries in order to expunge all the leftist texts that were surely imbedded there.
I looked around the Columbine library and found all kinds of books that would surely not pass Tea Party muster. "The Lorax", "The Butter Battle Book", and the worst one of all, "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish." Funny things are everywhere indeed! All these subversive texts suggest to impressionable youngsters that we are all basically good, that we should be trusting, that we should accept everyone.
I heard a Rush Limbaugh show once while stuck in rush hour traffic. A disgruntled caller was outraged at the latest art thingy his kid brought home from school. It seems that the kid's subversive teacher (Is there any other kind?) instructed her class to imagine what a giraffe's head on a turtle's body would look like (or something along those lines) and make a drawing of it. The kid showed his dad the surreal drawing and the father presumably ran to the phone to express his two grievances to Rush. First, the lesson was suggesting that one could improve on God's (intelligent) design. Second, what was the teacher doing wasting time on such pointless activities when there were multiplication tables and grammar rules to memorize? Rush, of course, was even more outraged and the rest of the hour was devoted to a succession of calls from people who were actually angry at turtles with the heads of giraffes.
You know all those problems I listed in the first paragraph? They all seem kind of urgent to me. They all need to be addressed by a national discussion. Do you think it is possible to have a discussion when even Pete the Cat or surreal turtles piss us off?
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the republic for which it stands
One nation
Under God
Indivisible
With liberty and justice for all.
Right! Just make sure you keep your buttons and avoid huge piles of strawberries.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Run For Cover
When I taught Freshmen at the end of my career, I decided to try a little experiment in order to assess exactly what I was dealing with. I wrote a list of ten words on the board, all normal, some proper nouns, some culturally literate references. Then I said I will give you an A+ if you simply copy those words on your own paper without making any mistakes. Not a single member of my class on that first day got an A+ on that quiz. I gave the quiz daily until everyone got an A+. After a week or two of wasting everyone's time with my little quiz, I gave up. The whole group never managed to pass that quiz. As you might imagine, it was a fun year.
I remember joking with my colleagues that some day those kids who couldn't copy a word like "Colorado" correctly would be voters.
That day has come. Those freshmen--most of them--were simply incapable of listening, taking notes, doing homework, making any but the most elemental decision. Well, both parties are doing a nice job of taking advantage of that group mentality that currently pervades the country. THIS CANDIDATE WANTS YOU TO BE UNSAFE! THIS CANDIDATE VOTED TO RAISE YOUR TAXES. THIS CANDIDATE WANTS TO TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR RIGHTS AND LIBERTY, etc., etc.
Francis Fukuyama (not sure of spelling) has written a new treatise on the history of democracy and republics and has come to the conclusion that, although the world is inevitable trending toward democracy, those differing versions of democracy are troublesome, not the least in the United States. The founding fathers made the foolish assumption when they built the framework of our republic that people would trust each other enough to govern, to compromise, to represent the electorate. That is clearly no longer the case in this country and therefore, the republic we all live under is in the beginning stages of death throes.
Here is my prediction for the election tomorrow. The Republicans will destroy the Democrats and take both houses of congress and most state houses, including Colorado. In the two years that will follow nothing will happen, not because of partisan gridlock necessarily, but because nothing ever happens when Republicans control both halves of the legislature. You could look it up. Then in the next election, Clinton will win the presidency and Democrats will enjoy a slight resurgence. Then in the election after that the Republicans will take over again. And in all that time NOTHING will happen. That's the country we live in and I find it incredibly depressing. My ninth graders are taking over the world and I want to run for cover.
I remember joking with my colleagues that some day those kids who couldn't copy a word like "Colorado" correctly would be voters.
That day has come. Those freshmen--most of them--were simply incapable of listening, taking notes, doing homework, making any but the most elemental decision. Well, both parties are doing a nice job of taking advantage of that group mentality that currently pervades the country. THIS CANDIDATE WANTS YOU TO BE UNSAFE! THIS CANDIDATE VOTED TO RAISE YOUR TAXES. THIS CANDIDATE WANTS TO TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR RIGHTS AND LIBERTY, etc., etc.
Francis Fukuyama (not sure of spelling) has written a new treatise on the history of democracy and republics and has come to the conclusion that, although the world is inevitable trending toward democracy, those differing versions of democracy are troublesome, not the least in the United States. The founding fathers made the foolish assumption when they built the framework of our republic that people would trust each other enough to govern, to compromise, to represent the electorate. That is clearly no longer the case in this country and therefore, the republic we all live under is in the beginning stages of death throes.
Here is my prediction for the election tomorrow. The Republicans will destroy the Democrats and take both houses of congress and most state houses, including Colorado. In the two years that will follow nothing will happen, not because of partisan gridlock necessarily, but because nothing ever happens when Republicans control both halves of the legislature. You could look it up. Then in the next election, Clinton will win the presidency and Democrats will enjoy a slight resurgence. Then in the election after that the Republicans will take over again. And in all that time NOTHING will happen. That's the country we live in and I find it incredibly depressing. My ninth graders are taking over the world and I want to run for cover.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)