Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Rolling Coal


When I first read about Trump rambling on about plumbing and appliances and lightbulbs and god knows what else, I just marked it off to Trump being an inarticulate buffoon, but it is more than that.  His ravings actually make a lot of sense.

I can say this because I can now hear people at the Y.  I always marveled at how two men could stand belly to belly and talk animatedly with each other for the time it takes me to go through a complete workout.  Before I had my hearing aids, I had no idea what they were talking about.  I just assumed it was political banter that I wanted no part of.  But now when I'm walking behind a couple of old white guys on the track, I can just make out what they're talking about.

They're talking about plumbing and appliances and lightbulbs and all the stupid liberal regulations that systematically take away their freedoms.

Plumbing is a good place to start.  Remember back in the fifties when men were men?  Back then no one had heard of low capacity toilets.  The thought of wasting water, except to coastal elites like Rachel Carson, was just silly.  I mean, just look at how much of it we had back then.  When you flushed a toilet back then, you knew you accomplished something.  If you got to close to the bowl, there was a good chance you might get sucked down the pipes.  But now!  Forget it.  Evidently Trump produces too much crap for the low capacity toilets at the White House (I'll bet Obama had them installed.) to handle with one flush.  So what happens to poor Donald, who in any other situation would be environmentally aware?  He has to keep flushing the toilet over and over, thus negating any water saving the toilet was designed to create.  The guys I'm walking behind at the Y have the same problem with the crap they produce.

What about light bulbs?  Again, back in the fifties when you flipped the switch on your wall, the light bulbs would instantly reach peak illumination and that peak illumination was clear and bright.  No more.  Coastal elites who think they know what is good for everyone else, started fiddling with incandescent bulbs.  So now, in the name of environmental awareness,  everyone is supposed to use fluorescent bulbs.  But the fluorescent bulbs don't immediately brighten up and when they finally do, it is still nothing like the light you could expect from an old fashioned bulb.

Hey, and don't even mention water saving washing machines!

And I'm just talking about hardware.  What about all the social changes?  In the fifties, we could make fun of gay people, or immigrants, or women, or anything.  Not anymore.  Now we have to use initials like LGBTQ, or hash tags like #MeToo, or shed a tear or two over immigrant families getting separated.  The world just isn't the same for white guys and it is driving a lot of them crazy.

It seems to me that movement conservatism has reacted to the seismic changes befalling our country by finding ways to piss off, to stick it to, the coastal elites they find as the cause of all the upheaval.

How do they do that?  Easy.  First of all, replace all the water saving appliances in your house (the ones that got planted on you) with their old fashioned alternatives.  Watch your water bill explode and you will know that you are showing those liberal elites that they can't tell you what to do.

Get rid of the fluorescent bulbs and buy some incandescent ones before they are no longer on the market.  Watch your electric bill rise and feel the satisfaction.

Arm yourself with guns and parade around in public while shouting threateningly at all the snowflake liberals cowering in the wings.

Make sure you don't vaccinate your kids.  That's the kind of courageous statement that will make people sit up and take notice.

Better yet, and this works best for young white males who look a lot like they belong to the Hitler Youth, rig up your F-150 to belch out black smoke at all intersections, especially at intersections where there might be some liberals riding their bikes to work.  Just think of the satisfaction you'll get seeing all those environmentally aware types eat your smoke.

That's the attitude that informs all of this isn't it.  A young white male with confederate flags waving from the truck, rolling coal and showing everyone how he's not going to let any government tell him how to run his life.  In other words, an idiot tailor made for Donald Trump's America.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Spot on. I'm a little supposed truck nuts didn't take them list- going hand in hand...er, well (I'll leave that hanging), with the coal rolling.

I think you should change gyms.