A Modest Proposal

The debt ceiling crisis is quickly reaching a head. Pundits are predicting an economic collapse that would make the Great Recession of 2008 pale in comparison. President Obama and Speaker Boehner are calling dueling press conferences to lay blame on each other. According to Obama, Republicans don't know the meaning of the word "compromise." According to Boehner, the President is only interested in positioning himself for a 2012 race. Legislators on both sides of the aisle are coming up with alternative fixes. Republican fixes employ entitlement cuts while looking at any talk of increased tax revenue as anathema. Democratic fixers increasingly cave in with each new idea. Democratic proposals already look like Republican positions held just a few weeks ago. Meanwhile, hapless little people, small businessmen, and even Chinese lenders are in a quandary. They don't know what to do with their money until something is resolved.

It is into this dismal state of affairs that I must reluctantly offer a modest proposal. Reluctant because I loathe the approbation that will surely follow Many will say, "It is about time he weighed in." Detractors will ask me to go back to handyman work and butt out of things I don't understand.

I fear it will be the same reaction I suffered in response to my Great Supreme Court Solution. Since we can predict with uncanny accuracy the votes of the four conservatives as well as the votes of the four liberal justices, the vast majority of cases are decided by Justice Kennedy.

We could save a lot of money and needless media attention if we simply eliminated the eight predictable votes and let Kennedy write each decision. We could sell the building--it is an impressive edifice and would be sure to get a good price--to a consortium of insurance companies. The move would be easy, since most insurers have already set up shop there. We would insist, however, that they set aside suitable office space for our one remaining juror.

When I suggested this solution to some of my conservative friends at the Y, they looked at me askance. One even suggested that I was being irreverent. It is just as I suspected. Conservatives are not really serious about reducing the deficit.

It is in this spirit that I offer a multi-faceted proposal, not only ending gridlock in our nation's capital, but also going a long way toward reducing our deficit in the next ten years. And all of this will happen without raising taxes, which is, when you get right down to it, the only thing anyone cares about anyway.

A RESTRUCTURING OF WASHINGTON: TAKING PRIVATIZATION TO ITS LOGICAL CONCLUSION

Start by simply eliminating ALL elected officials on the federal level, plus the Supreme Court. In their place, I suggest a CPA-in-Chief along with a computer system that simply tallies the amount of money flowing into Washington designed to influence legislation. The CPA-in-Chief would post on Facebook a deadline for all influence cash and base all new laws and initiatives on the amount of money for or against. The side with the most cash wins. The new issues to be legislated would be initiated by the people and would be considered by the CPA-in-Chief based on how much money accompanied each new petition.

A divisive issue like health care would no longer have to go through a long and public debate. It would instead be quickly and easily decided. If, for instance, insurance companies managed to give more money to our national coffers than uninsured homeless people, then health insurance would not be enacted and we could all get on with our lives. This will have the added benefit of forcing all those sick homeless types to get off the public dole and start taking responsibility for their own lives. They will thank us one day.

Look at the savings!

There are 100 senators and 435 representatives in D.C. They each get paid $174,000 a year. Eliminate those 535 positions for a yearly savings of $93,090,000. That is nearly a one billion dollar savings over ten years.

The nine justices of the Supreme Court each make $213,000. Eliminate those nine positions and save nearly $2 million, a ten year savings of $20 million.

The President earns $400,000/year, plus $169,000 in expenses, travel allowance, and entertainment. Eliminate that position; save $5, 690,000 in ten years. Save another $2,307,000 by getting rid of the Vice-President.

That just scratches the surface. Each senator and representative has an average sized staff of ten, each earning an average of $50,000/year, $500,000 in ten years. Lose those 5,350 staffers and save $2,675,000,000 over the next decade.

The Supremes each have ten staffers at the same salary. Ten year savings $45,000,000.

The President and First Lady have 50 staffers between them. It is actually more than that, but who's counting. So, 50 times $500,000 over ten years represents a savings of $25,000,000. For the sake of argument, let's add another $15,000,000 for the Vice-President.

The total, rounding up or down as appropriate, is $6,114,000,000.

At first that sounds like just a drop in the bucket. But remember, this figure does not include the money pouring into our nation's coffers as big business expands its efforts to control legislation. It also doesn't take into account the savings to be enjoyed by this rather major streamlining of government. I think it is safe to say that when all the figures (There might be one or two factors I haven't considered.) are finally added up, we will be approaching the kind of numbers being thrown around in the debt ceiling debate.

And think of the ancillary benefits. Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, CSPAN, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, and the rest would all be history. The savings in public angst along make my proposal worthy of your consideration.

Ansel Adams Eat Your Heart Out

Teton Juxtaposition

This photograph pretty much captures the allure the Tetons have for me. They are the most photographed mountains in the world for a reason, and even though every new shot of the range runs the risk of being a cliche, I can't resist.

Katherine and I were on the back end of a new hike for us around Emma Matilda Lake in the northeast section of the park. The great draw of hikes in this section is the relative scarcity of people. The drawback is the abundance of mosquitoes, horseflies, and other bugs too numerous to mention. The first half of this ten and a half mile excursion takes you around the south side of the lake and provides some terrific glimpses of the Snake River, particularly Oxbow Bend, a magnet for kayaks, canoes, and pelicans. It also takes you through some heavily forested areas that oftentimes contain foraging bears and the aforementioned bugs.

After surviving the south side, the trail opens up to the north shore and fields of balsam, delphinium, yarrow, flax, geraniums, and scarlet gilia, all providing a bottom frame for killer panoramas of Mount Moran and the Cathedral Group. The bugs disappear at this juncture and the potential hiding places for irritable bears become few and far between, so you can concentrate on stepping over stones on the trail and looking for the perfect juxtaposition of flowers and mountains. That is the allure: the juxtaposition of ephemeral color next to the solid granite looming in the distance.

If you are ever in the Tetons I heartily recommend this hike. Start in the Jackson Lake Lodge parking lot, find the Emma Matilda/Two Ocean Lake trail head, make sure you have long pants, long sleeves, plenty of bug spray, and proceed with joy. It is listed as moderate because it only has an elevation gain of 400 feet, but be forewarned that it is 400 feet that keeps repeating itself throughout the course of the hike.

As the hike nears its end you can see the parking lot in the distance. Even though the last mile and a half of any hike is always the most difficult, this one is ameliorated by the comforting knowledge that the Heron Bar with its huckleberry margaritas awaits. They do wonders for easing the itch of countless mosquito bites.

I Like My Disney World Turquoise All-Purpose Mug

Katherine here.

I want to talk about why I like my new DisneyWorld Mickey Mouse all-purpose mug and why I love my yellow pottery Snooze mug. I want to talk about the two eco-lodges we've stayed at this year with the Chaa Creek water bottle battle and the two-bottle system used at Jenny Lake Lodge. I want to talk about several glasses too. Time and task commitment permitting.

In the previous post Jim makes fun of my new Disney World Mickey Mouse all-purpose mug. I have been his easiest target for over 35 years now so it was not a surprise when he started making smart remarks about my mug when I actually used it out of the confines of Disney properties and outside the privacy of our home. I wanted him to take it to the Jenny Lake Lodge lobby area and bring back coffee thus saving the use of paper cup (it is an eco-lodge after all) and I would have HOT coffee for a considerable amount of time because the mug works so well. It was clear right away that he didn't want to be seen with my turquoise and Mickey Mouse mug--it didn't really fit in with the whole elk antler and wildflower motif typical of the place. He's right, but I still love this mug.

I can always find this mug because very few people at our resort went for the turquoise one (black is, of course, the classic choice). I left my mug behind in the dining room at Jenny one morning and a bellman promptly delivered it to me at our cabin. I'm sure it was the turquoise color that linked the mug to me.

I also love how the lid works. I usually like to sip coffee left-handed. On rare occasions during full moons, I prefer my right hand. I like how simple it is to switch sides. The open-close sipping mechanism is superb. Disney really got the cup right. Jim is a closet user of his BLACK Disney World all-purpose mug. I thought the world should know that somebody who can get so all fired excited about non-fiction books tracing the history of greed (see previous post) also uses a Disney World Mickey Mouse all-purpose mug when folks aren't looking. It makes me smile.

My other favorite mug is my yellow clay one from Snooze. We had two and Jim broke one. It was, of course, mine that he broke. I hadn't been able to see any difference in the two mugs, but his keen eye had figured it out. I quickly bought a new Snooze mug so there would be two and one of us wouldn't have to drink from a different kind of mug (icky). I think the new one is a bit shinier. I'm trying to keep an eye on it.

The yellow Snooze mug is handmade. It's big on the bottom, but narrow at the top so the heat stays in. It has a nice heft. The Snooze owner told me about The Wheel where they are made near San Diego and I looked the place up. It makes tableware for restaurants only, but really cool stuff. I like knowing the source of my mug.

I have water bottles I like and water bottles I don't like. They've all come from eco-lodges. Good eco-lodges have water bottles greeting you as gifts when you check in to help you stay away from plastic water systems.

We stayed with Bud and Janet at Chaa Creek in Belize. It's a top-rated eco-lodge and my second favorite resort. Four of us checked in and there were only two water bottles. The water bottles looked cool, I must admit. Greenish-clayey color with the logo in cream stamped on. We asked for two more bottles. They were six or twelve dollars. Bud and Janet told us to keep them (they have armies of bottles from their various trips) and we did. They asked about the water bottles numbers of times while we were there. We offered to give them to them and they said no. We offered to buy two more. They said no. They asked about the bottles when we returned. We sadly explained that one broke inside a suitcase on the way home, but we'd be happy to give them the bottles. They said no. I have decided that the Chaa Creek water bottles are bad bottles. I may not be done with Chaa Creek in my life, but I am done with their water bottles. I will make sure Bud and Janet get the bottles if we go there together again.

Jenny Lake Lodge is an eco-lodge too. Water there is wonderful. It has to be given all the fracking concerns (see "Gasland") connected with Wyoming water. They offer NO plastic water bottles. Period. They have a purifier in the lobby and you take your Camelpak over and fill it up and head off on your hike. They give each guest a really cool silver water bottle with appropriate swivels and things to hook it to your pack and you can fill it from the purifier or you can fill it with the purified water they bring to your cabin twice a day. They have heavy, beautiful tall glass bottles with screw-tops filled with purified water and then left with you in your cabin. They trade out the used bottles when ice is delivered. It's a really cool system. I love both the silver bottles and the glass bottles and I'm using them at home now too.

I can't stop this rambling without talking about my favorite glasses a bit too. It won't take long. Promise.

We have three pairs of wine glasses from the Napa Valley acquired in two trips. We have white wine glasses from the Cakebread winery. I loved that place. I love their white wines. The second are two red wine glasses from the Opus One winery. Opus One is my favorite red wine even though a lot of folks give me a hard time about it. It explodes in my mouth. Most wines, I guess, are about finishes. Opus One is about the beginning and how it combines with food. Anyway, we once bought half a case of bottles at the Opus One winery and managed to wait a year until we drank the last one. The last pair is a set of of champagne flutes from the Korbel winery near Santa Rosa where we visited Franny and her in-laws last fall. I love the dark red champagne they have there. They have some incredible wines that you can only buy there at the winery. There's a lovely deli attached. We had a really nice time there. Nice memories all the way around.

I also like our Sundance glassware. I like Robert Redford's Utah resort and I buy stuff from his Sundance catalogue when it hits the "Outlet" stage. We have little juice/wine glasses in beer bottle colors. We have tumblers in three sizes--clear glasses with either red, blue, or turquoise rims depending on the size of the tumbler. All are made of recycled glass. They have a nice heft. They replaced the used jar approach we'd had for years much to my mother's relief.

I'm done. I like to revel in simple pleasures like my mugs. Franny is home for a bit before heading onto California to see her husband's family and to Hawaii with Ken. She's earned a good long rest. We had dinner in the backyard last night. We had a good Italian wine and I used my Opus One glass. It was really nice. Things are always better with the right mug--even if it is a turquoise Disney World all-purpose mug.

Light Reading at Jenny Lake Lodge

Age of Greed

Jeff Madrick

There are two types of people in the world and two types only: Those who, after seeing Wall Street, think Gordon Gecko is the hero, and the rest of us. That is a conclusion I have been harboring for some time now, but it has been made manifest by Age of Greed by Jeff Madrick.

That was my light reading at Jenny Lake Lodge the last two weeks. Every morning I would get up at 6:15, take a shower, get dressed, and walk over to the lodge to fill Katherine's Disney World All-Purpose Mug with coffee. By the time I got back with the coffee Katherine would be in pre-shower mode and I would walk back to the lodge to sit by the fire, coffee cup (Jenny Lake issue) nearby, with Madrick's collection of outrageous behavior in hand.

Madrick traces the rise of finance and the corresponding decline of government from post-Kennedy to Obama in a series of chapters, each highlighting the "accomplishments" of key individuals as they wheeled and dealed away pesky regulations in an unrelenting quest to amass fortunes.

None of this wheeling and dealing was personal, mind you. If people got hurt in the process, if loyal employees got fired en masse, if life savings were lost, if states and countries came to the brink of collapse, well it was just business and, as we all know, what's good for business is good for America.

The book is divided into two sections. The first, "Revolution," ranges from Citicorp's Walter Wriston down the line of deregulators to Ronald Reagan to Paul Volcker in eleven detailed chapters, each more maddening than the last. The second section keeps this up as it leads up to the Great Recession of 2008.

Maddening because these characters keep getting away with the same stuff and even though Madrick suggests they were responsible for one financial crisis after another, they kept getting richer, all the while complaining that they should be afforded the liberty to get richer still.

But we know all that. I want to get back to my first paragraph.

I had a surprisingly unpleasant discussion/argument with a friend at the Y and during the course of our give and take he said, "Well, you just don't know anything about business, do you?"

"No I don't," I answered proudly with what I am sure was a smart ass smile on my face.

The encounter, you'll be glad to know, ended pleasantly enough. But I have been thinking a lot about the business comment, which is, I suppose, one of the reasons I picked up this book in the first place--to understand business.

I don't understand Business in the same sense that I don't understand Pharmacy, having never taken a course. I can say things like Business Cycle and Research and Development, Profit Margins, Debit. Stuff like that, but some investor would be making a serious mistake allowing me to run a business.

After Madrick's book I really don't UNDERSTAND Business. Feel free to roll your eyes, but I never fully grasped the enormity of an individual whose only goal was the acquisition of money. Hey, I like money as much as the next guy, but I always accepted as a given that money is something that comes from something else, like a crop, or a teaching job, or a best-selling novel.

When I had all those kids back in the Wall Street days who believed that "Greed is good," I didn't realize that they really meant it. This book chronicles the successes (mostly) and failures of those kids. It showcases what can happen when Gordon Gecko is taken his logical conclusion.

So, I have been immersed in a world where Enron traders cheered when their energy market manipulations resulted in fortunes for them and near ruin for California. Where short sellers unapologetically made fortunes as Great Britain's currency came within a hair of collapse. Where lending institutions discourage you from paying off mortgages early. It is Yossarian's world in the streets of Rome. "Everywhere I look I see people cashing in."

Sounds cheery huh?

Jeff Madrick's book is compelling, infuriating, and absolutely wonderful.

Feeling Goodbyes

Today is Franny's last day in The White House. She has worked for the Obamas off and on since the senator announced his candidacy. She has been planning Michelle Obama's public life for the past two and a half years.

Today is going to be an emotional roller coaster for my daughter. I know she is excited to leave and start a new chapter in her life. I also know she will be beyond sad to think about leaving all the people she has worked with through the ridiculous demands of their job. There will be a party and gifts and lots of crying. It will provide the catharsis she needs.

Teaching is full of last days. There is a miniature last day before Christmas break filled with anticipation and relief and kids giving you chocolate chip cookies and other kids begging for higher grades. Then there is the big last day before summer vacation. Nothing in my experience has yet to compare to the feeling of turning in grades, cleaning off desks, pulling staples from classroom walls, and saying goodbye to all the graduating seniors who have become beloved over the past four years. When it comes right down to it, that is the only thing I really miss about teaching after six years of retirement (or is it seven?).

But when I compare my final day at Green Mountain High School to Franny's last day, my experience comes up way short. I didn't shed any tears. Neither did my colleagues. From what I know of my daughter in particular and politics in general, she and her staff share this certainty that they have been busy saving the world the past few years. They have gone through it as a unified group dedicated to a single purpose. When all that intensity comes to an end, the range of emotions is complete and unforgettable. The satisfaction and pride, undeniable.

I had that feeling when I started teaching. We all did. We planned together. We drank together. We lobbied together. Making schools better was our joint goal and we all thought we succeeded.

At the end of my career all I could think about was getting out. I liked the people I worked with for the most part, but I never felt that we were all fighting the same good fight. We didn't plan together as a whole department. We certainly didn't drink together. I don't think we really trusted each other. So, even though there were many wonderful moments with former students saying their goodbyes, there were no cathartic moments like Franny is having today.

This was probably my fault, but I don't think entirely. Educational "experts" talk a lot about luring talented young people into teaching by linking pay to performance and offering higher starting salaries. They figure this will up the quality of teaching and thereby improve schools.

All the incentives offered to experienced teachers are geared toward retirement. After all, young teachers don't cost school districts as much money as thirty year vets. But thirty year vets have a lot to offer if only we could figure out ways to reward them with something other than just a yearly increment raise.

I received a clock in a cheap ceramic apple from Jefferson County when I retired. I promptly threw it away. That pretty much sums up my feelings of loss at my retirement.

Franny, cherish this day forever.