Feeling Goodbyes

Today is Franny's last day in The White House. She has worked for the Obamas off and on since the senator announced his candidacy. She has been planning Michelle Obama's public life for the past two and a half years.

Today is going to be an emotional roller coaster for my daughter. I know she is excited to leave and start a new chapter in her life. I also know she will be beyond sad to think about leaving all the people she has worked with through the ridiculous demands of their job. There will be a party and gifts and lots of crying. It will provide the catharsis she needs.

Teaching is full of last days. There is a miniature last day before Christmas break filled with anticipation and relief and kids giving you chocolate chip cookies and other kids begging for higher grades. Then there is the big last day before summer vacation. Nothing in my experience has yet to compare to the feeling of turning in grades, cleaning off desks, pulling staples from classroom walls, and saying goodbye to all the graduating seniors who have become beloved over the past four years. When it comes right down to it, that is the only thing I really miss about teaching after six years of retirement (or is it seven?).

But when I compare my final day at Green Mountain High School to Franny's last day, my experience comes up way short. I didn't shed any tears. Neither did my colleagues. From what I know of my daughter in particular and politics in general, she and her staff share this certainty that they have been busy saving the world the past few years. They have gone through it as a unified group dedicated to a single purpose. When all that intensity comes to an end, the range of emotions is complete and unforgettable. The satisfaction and pride, undeniable.

I had that feeling when I started teaching. We all did. We planned together. We drank together. We lobbied together. Making schools better was our joint goal and we all thought we succeeded.

At the end of my career all I could think about was getting out. I liked the people I worked with for the most part, but I never felt that we were all fighting the same good fight. We didn't plan together as a whole department. We certainly didn't drink together. I don't think we really trusted each other. So, even though there were many wonderful moments with former students saying their goodbyes, there were no cathartic moments like Franny is having today.

This was probably my fault, but I don't think entirely. Educational "experts" talk a lot about luring talented young people into teaching by linking pay to performance and offering higher starting salaries. They figure this will up the quality of teaching and thereby improve schools.

All the incentives offered to experienced teachers are geared toward retirement. After all, young teachers don't cost school districts as much money as thirty year vets. But thirty year vets have a lot to offer if only we could figure out ways to reward them with something other than just a yearly increment raise.

I received a clock in a cheap ceramic apple from Jefferson County when I retired. I promptly threw it away. That pretty much sums up my feelings of loss at my retirement.

Franny, cherish this day forever.