The Black Tee

I was on a rowing macine upstairs at the Y on Thursday when a burley twenty-something walked by on the track. He was wearing a black tee-shirt with some kind of slogan about Obama on the back. I couldn't make it out the first time around. On his second lap I could see the slogan clearly: Obama Kills Babies.

I immediately got off the rowing machine and walked up to the guy.

"I just want you to know that your tee-shirt represents one of the things that make this country great," I said. "We all have the right to freely think and proclaim whatever we choose to believe in no matter how FUCKING STUPID IT IS."

That isn't entirely true. There was a guy in an offensive tee-shirt, but I'm stretching the truth a bit about the rest. I never actually got off the rowing machine, but I did mutter "Moron" under my breath several times as he passed by.

I was still on the machine rowing my interminable four miles when I noticed the creep walking out of the Y and down the steps to the back parking lot where his huge four door pickup awaited. I don't have anything against huge pickups. But why is it that young republican assholes seem to be a major marketing demographic for Ford 350's and the like? The truck seemed to be brand new. The fact that he hadn't had time to install a rear mounted gun rack was a pretty clear indicator of a recent purchase. And more to the point, there were no bumper stickers. Not even a "My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student" emblazoned on the tail gate.

I could imagine the guy four-wheeling home to change clothes for work. I picture him carefully folding his Obama tee-shirt and placing it on a hanger right next to the "I'll Work For Pussy" tee he wore out for drinks the previous night.