Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm Having a Good Time

Katherine today. I'm having a good time. I've fired off the appropriate understanding-but-threatening emails to DPS Alternative Licensure teachers who have to finish all the paperwork the Colorado Department of Education requires by this coming Thursday. It's a daunting task. A lot of trees die for Alternative Licensure. These teachers jump through inordinate hoops to meet state standards while meeting the demands of their students, schools and communities. I've coached them and been their best cheerleader all year long. They are tired. So am I. Today is a good day because it is the day I smell summer. I feel like Doug in Dandelion Wine. I feel like he felt when he heard that first lawn mower. I'm so close to being done I can taste it. I'm having a good time.

I hesitate to reveal what I'm doing right now, but I will. Jim is off deck-building with Bud and I'm enjoying a rare day alone in my house. That alone is a happy thing. I adore J., but I have my own guilty pleasures that are much happier experienced without his keen wit ready to point out the absurdity/silliness/cuteness/etc. of my behavior. Don't take me wrong--he has his own guilty pleasures--Rudy, for instance. It comes out even in most ways--he can watch Rudy and any number of incredibly depressing movies and I can watch Cleopatra and all the National Park shows on the Travel Channel. We just need to alone when we indulge in these pleasures.

The only problem here is that my time alone is pretty darn limited. Jim has plenty. I go off into teacher-land (only two weeks more) and he works at home--he writes, he takes care of the yard and the house and the food. He is wonderful. But if he wants to take the morning off and watch Rudy, well-he can.

Today is my day to watch my version of Rudy. It's equally embarrassing and I"m sorry if Rudy is your thing, but it just reminds me of the old Waltons TV show and Little House on The Prairie --fire, blindness, poverty and shortness, etc.--all set up to make me cry. Jim likes Rudy. I resent Rudy; It's best we don't watch together. I love Cleopatra (Gladiator, Spartacus--any movie with men in skirts unless Mel Gibson is involved). It's best we don't watch together.

I'm watching my recently recorded HD versions of my two favorite National Park Travel Channel specials today. One covers Grand Teton National Park and the other is about Yellowstone. Soon I'll watch what Samantha Brown has to say about Belize. Summer is coming and I'm going places that will restore me and make me believe in some things. I'll feel connected with the earth. I'll remember that somehow the world will not come to an end despite the battles between Democrats and Republicans and Tea Partiers and all the other factionists--Mayan ruins have a way of doing that. Summer means going outdoors and bathing in the woods. Summer is the beach off San Pedro in Belize. Summer is fasting from the news.

We go to Wyoming for two weeks each summer. We stay in the Tetons and go into Jackson several days each visit. I've just watched my Yellowstone recording and I'm thinking I'd like to make it the whole two weeks without entering civilization at all. I can probably convince Jim just because I couldn't buy any cowboy boots at The Boot Legger in Jackson that way. I have four pair of boots from Jackson. They are all truly wonderful. A girl can never have enough cowboy boots so I think he'd appreciate the sacrifice. Mostly, I just want to really get away from even the civilization that Jackson represents. Dornan's at the edge of the park would be my limit--it has a grocery store and a liquor store and gasoline. That should keep us going.


The Teton recording is up next. I have to pay attention there. This is what I watch to dream. It's my version of running away from home. The show will highlight trails we hike and vistas we know by heart. My heart will soar because we will be there soon. We will be in Belize sooner. I'm having a good time.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Why teaching defies measurement

Campbell's Law, formulated by Donald T. Campbell in 1976, states "The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processes it is intended to monitor." This is closely related to Goodhart's Law and the Lucas Critique in economics and a lot like the Heisenberg Uncertainty in quantum physics which says that the act of measuring something changes the thing being measured.

For example, the recent scandal coming out of D.C. that a disproportionate number of erasures on answer sheets might explain the relatively huge jump in scores on mandated assessment tests seems to follow Campbell's Law. If a school or, in the case of D.C., a district commissioner knows that money and reputation are tied to performance, there will be efforts to cheat. Furthermore, the act of testing (measuring) will change the thing being measured. Mandated tests don't measure actual schools; they only measure how schools are when being measured. There is a difference.

Think about this when you read The Denver Post's editorial today (Friday, April 15, 2011), "Stay the course on school reform." This is an inevitable follow-up of the Posts' long and loud endorsement of SB191, Colorado's "landmark" teacher evaluation legislation. You know, that was the bill that changed the way teachers were to be evaluated (half of their evaluation will be based on standardized test scores) and attempted to put an end to tenure. The thinking behind the bill was and continues to be the current view that if we just got rid of all the incompetent teachers - the ones who are in the profession only for the money - all our educational problems would be solved.

Today's editorial is championing a state panel's suggested guidelines for teacher effectiveness and encouraging us all to support the next step, a compilation of quantifiable objectives and behaviors teachers would have to follow on the road to the retention of tenure.

The state board came up with 60 recommendations and as the Post says, "those recommendations comprise an important foundational document for the work ahead." The Post goes on to highlight a few of these important and presumably new recommendations. For instance, the board wants all teachers to guarantee "equitable learning opportunities and growth for all students." The board also recommends that good principals will be "responsible for the collective success of their schools."

"That sliver of the panel's work provides an idea of the broader principles," the Post remarks.

Wow! "Equitable learning opportunities." "Growth for all students." Why didn't I think of that? Just think, 35 years of teaching down the drain. If only there had been some government board to tell me how to proceed. "You mean I'm supposed to be concerned for ALL of my students? Well, that takes all the fun out of it right there."

The Post strongly suggests that all this new thinking and the new battery of ways for hapless principals to quantify everything is going to change the way educators think.

This argument is a good example of the kind of thinking that ensues when people who are on the periphery of classrooms try to turn teaching into something that can be measured.

In the three and a half decades I taught I was forced to sit down with the rest of the faculty at least once every three years to arrive at new methods for improving instruction. Each one of these sitdowns started out with a listing of goals and all of those goals sounded a lot like those "Equitable learning opportunities" alluded to above. We agreed to prepare students for an increasingly complex society. We agreed students should be able to meet the needs of society by effectively expressing themselves. We agreed they should have a basic understanding of government, etc., etc.

The goals are self-evident and nothing to cheer about. The problem comes when we have to measure our success.

Interlude: I had a kid once who bombed his CSAPS because the night before his mother and her boyfriend, who combined to lay the foundation for the kid's cocaine addiction, were arrested at his home. He snuck out the back window and roamed the streets all night. To make matters, the little creep did poorly on his reading test which is probably why I didn't get that great evaluation I was counting on.


There are too many variables. That's why teaching is an art. Would anyone seriously want to come up with a list of 60 characteristics of an effective artist? Characteristic 16: Has fondness for absinthe and self-mutilation.

My wife informs me that principals in DPS have a checklist of over 100 items they must use when evaluating teachers. To DPS's credit or damnation, the items are specific and measurable. Instead of something like "the teacher will conduct large group discussions during each unit," it will be more like "during a large group discussion the teacher will demonstrate effectiveness by having 70% of students with hands raised."

I have heard that many DPS principals are considering early retirement rather than go through the check list charade. I can't imagine how a principal could pull it off. When I taught I was lucky if an administrator was in my classroom more than twice a semester. The demands placed on principals are just too great. How many times would a principal have to visit a classroom in order to check off 100 behaviors? The whole notion is laughable.

The Post ends its editorial. "There is a long road ahead before a new way of looking at teachers and principals is fully deployed in Colorado. We hope the ensuing steps are as sound and purposeful as this one."

Trust me. If history and my experience are any indication, they will be every bit as "sound and purposeful." That's precisely why I can't stop rolling my eyes.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Anomie

Catherine Zeta-Jones checked into a mental hospital yesterday to receive treatment for Bipolar II Disorder. On The Today Show Matt Lauer explained that this is a recent offshoot of plain every day Bipolar, which used to be called manic depression when I went to school. Matt went on to explain the symptoms: a chronic depression punctuated by only occasional and not very intense highs.

It was then that I realized that I was a border line Bipolar II sufferer! It explains so much. I get up in the morning and either go to the Y where I have come to realize that I will never look like the guy in The Fighter (Depression), or I sit in the kitchen, drink some coffee, and read the morning paper (Major Depression). Then I discover that it is raining, or snowing, or too cold, or too hot to really do a thorough job of working on that deck I've been meaning to build (Still More Depression). After that, I might go and read Wolf Hall which reduces my erstwhile hero, Thomas More, into a blood thirsty, unforgiving fanatic (Sigh). Or I might pick up my guitar and realize that after some thirty years of dabbling on and off I will never play like Les Paul (Figures). Yeah, yeah, I know you're thinking "but what about your beautiful wife?" You've got a point, but she doesn't play like Les Paul either.

It seems to me that Bipolar II Disorder is a reasonable reaction to the world. Maybe it's the people who are not rushing to hospitals to have their meds adjusted we should be worried about.

This, of course, brings me to Emile Durkheim, sociology, and the five institutions of society.

Okay, we have FAMILY, EDUCATION, RELIGION, GOVERNMENT, BUSINESS. According to Durkheim (I think, but since this is a blog post, who cares?), these five form a pentagon of sorts enclosing/constraining/defining all those within the boundaries. Someone who doesn't measure up to the requirements of one or another of these institutions can be found outside the pentagon, an outcast.

As society progresses, these institutions take turns being the strongest. Right now BUSINESS seems to be in the vanguard, with RELIGION close behind. In the 60's EDUCATION was king, or at least it seemed that way. GOVERNMENT proclaimed its postwar power by building a plethora of pillored temples to anchor town squares everywhere. (The alliteration in that last sentence was purely accidental.)

Sometimes however, none of the institutions seem to work. This is such a time. And the feeling you get when you look around and see all of your institutions falling is called anomie. It is the feeling of having lost your moorings, of being set adrift.

To illustrate, I started weeping one morning last week when I read that the Civil Union Bill died in committee. There was a picture of a fat, old, white male looking askance at a lesbian couple holding hands next to him. I wasn't weeping so much at the failure of the bill as I was at the fact that not a single republican had the courage to buck his party and do the right thing. It was a disillusioning moment.

I think the five institutions allegedly holding up this crumbling society of ours are so universally held in contempt that all a comedian would have to do is walk on stage at a comedy club and open his act by saying, "Hey any of you guys involved in EDUCATION?" - the house roars. "Hey, are there any honest BUSINESSmen here tonight?" - the house roars louder - a gentleman at a corner table chokes on his olive. "Take my FAMILY, please."

That's what I'm feeling, anomie. I like the sound of it better than Bipolar II Disorder. They both spring from the same cause: paying attention.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Snooze and the Ballpark

It's Katherine again today. We just got back from our regular Saturday morning breakfast at the ballpark Snooze. This is our favorite weekend ritual. We wake up early (just happens), drive through uncrowded streets and highways, and head into downtown on 20th where the sunrise is in just the right spot to make the city glow. We hang a left at the newest medical marijuana shop (walk-ins welcome) and head a bit north to find a free parking spot and get to Snooze in time to beat the line that will inevitably start forming before we leave.

We love this Snooze. So many reasons. The obvious reason is the food, but for me it's the pancakes. I don't like pancakes. They are never quite right at altitude. They are sometimes tough or spongy or crusty or soggy--but rarely good. It's a miracle I even tried a pancake at Snooze. I credit 5280 for championing the pineapple upside down pancake next to an excellent photo of one. We tried it. It's the best pancake in the world. Our granddaughters would disagree because they're voting for the chocolate chip pancake, but what do they know--they're just little kids.

I'm not a great food reviewer because I get in such food ruts. Good reviewers try everything and present the ups and downs of what they've ordered over the course of several months. I've been eating at Snooze for over three years now and I've really only gone through three ruts.

I started with an eggs benedict rut. I like the traditional kind best, but I've sampled any number of their unique approaches. The duck confit on polenta version was pretty darn yummy, but not there long enough for me to get too stuck on them. I've been through a wonderful corned beef hash rut as well. I recommend it. Now I'm on having a plain pancake, crispy bacon and one egg over easy rut. Simple. That plain pancake is so incredible.

We also order Bloody Mary's and coffee. We take Snooze coffee home and it's what we drink each morning. There's a nice story behind the coffee and the owner, but mostly it's really good coffee and I don't get scary jitters if I drink an extra cup. There's a wide range of cool drinks, but we always have Bloody's and coffee. Big rut there.

We like the people there. Jim and I are fairly recognizable--he's a big guy and my haircut seems to make me memorable. The folks at Snooze know us now and various staff members stop by and we share the exciting stories of our weeks. We are happy and excited for them when they go skiing or go on vacation to Bali or have beautiful baby girls. A real reviewer would have to be anonymous and objective and have to notice if parsley was ever mis-sprinkled. We are not very objective people.

At the end of March, we made an unexpected trip down to Snooze in the middle of the week after trying to change the password on my Metro computer. it turned out to be a happy accident because Snooze had a few tickets left for their Colorado Rockies Opening Day and Five Year Anniversary Party. We bought two tickets even though we suspected we might be the oldest people there. We were older than most of the folks and probably a lot more interested in the actual baseball game than most of the Snooze guests, but it was incredibly cool to be there.

We took Light Rail downtown and had a cool visit with a couple who had been to spring training in Scottsdale. We picked up some tips about getting around in Arizona since we're doing the spring training thing next year and we all agreed that RTD needs to figure out how to keep the ticket vending machines operating better.

After a brisk walk over to Snooze, we entered and got our hands marked up like I remember from frat parties in college. There were bars in various spots with cool new drink items (I had three of something full of vodka and something not too sweet that I obviously liked a lot) and there were shot stands. I kept wanting a blood orange shot like Jim got, but had three green things on my unsuccessful quest. That was enough of the college life for me. I had plenty of appetizer size pancakes and sausages and hash browns and all sorts of goodies to keep me stable. After a goodly time at Snooze (we even saw one real live wedding proposal), we walked over to the ballpark.

The weather was glorious and the stadium was beautiful. The line by the Helton Burger stand was outrageous and there's a new Italian market back by home plate. It's a gorgeous ballpark. There were tons and tons of people--in and out of the ballpark and it's hard to imagine the amount of liquor consumed just as we walked around the concourses.

This was not a crowd interested in watching baseball. This crowd liked drinking and talking. By the point the game started we were done with drinking and more into the baseball thing. We were unusual in this. We watched the game, wondered why the stat guy never got anyone's batting average calculated accurately, and people watched. A lot of women have great big boobs--more than I remember. It was a bit unsettling. Overall, it was a really good time.

I'm grateful to Snooze for a lot. For the food, for feeding the Rockies before day games, for including us last Friday for the opener, for paying attention to us, for being the right sort of place for us.